FLASHBACK: I’m laid in bed with my now ex, talking about independence and loneliness, and I asked him the age old philosophical question “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound”?
Erm, no I guess, he answers.
DING DING DING, (alarm bells go off in my head because I’ve just realised my boyfriend is an autistic egocentric narsassistic waste of my time) “what?” “well if no one hears it, its insignificant”.
I change the stance on my philosophical debate, “OK there’s a political rally in Rotherham (my home town) and there’s the mayor saying everyone is to have a curfew, everyone’s shouting and you have this great counter arguement but no one asks for your opinion, is you opinion insignificant like that tree?”
“Well I’m a human, I can write, a tree can’t, I’m the greater species”.
And from then I’ve just figured that even though he’s lovely towards other humans and compassionate towards me, he’s never gonna be on my wavelength.
“OK, you are that tree, you cant write, you can’t move, all you do is leave and flower, you fall in the woods, are you heard now?”
Still no, ok its not that he is egocentric, he’s just so happy he was born human, (probably so he can go out with me, haha, joke).
This is how I explained it to him.
Are you independent?… Yes
Are you lonely?… Nat, I’m laid in bed with you.
So your this tree in this wood, and you fall, and your surrounded by other trees but nobody hears, and your still insignificant? Yes
Do you know how roots work, and forest root systems? No
They’re all connected, so if the middle tree, which will be the one that falls and no one hears because of the muffles from the surrounding trees, the oxygen from the top that the leaves soak up, isn’t going to direct through the tree to the roots, to the other trees.
He’s a jack of all trades, knows how to fix most things, even light fittings, so his reply was “so like solar panels, warm up a house, if one panel cuts out the others get over heated and stop and then its freezing in winter?”
Yes, kinda, but lets see it as, your elizabeth fritzel, No one except your dad and mum know you exist, you fall on a sharp knife, and you die, who cares right?
“my dad, who’s he gonna rape now?” Sick answer, thanks for that, but he’s getting it.
“well mr fritzel goes out after and kidnaps a girl whose identity is not hidden from the world, does anyone hear the tree-ish kidnapping?” yeah they do…
I look at his face, I can see the clocks ticking, and then EUREKA he gets it, well yeah someone would hear the tree fall because everyone is connected, so by one tree falling its like the domino effect of decay from one root source to another, so probably in about 20 years the forest has fallen down.
OH MY LORD 🙂 I think I’ve found the one
OH yesss, my ex boyfriend wasn’t so thick at all, too bad he’s an ex, well to be fair I’m getting over him but I know he still cares, so its time for me to do some rock climbing while casually think about our marriage so the law of attraction will act on my clear request for our rekindle.
Wish me luck people.