I have a new job which I started on the 5th of may! And I really love it, I have wonderful conversations with the customers and I’m getting to grips with the system, should be getting paid a full wage on 27th of April and I cannot wait

I got accepted into DeMontford journalism and media and communications joint honours, it’s a really good course and I’m really excited to start it. I got accepted after writing the 500 word essay, and I’ve sent my student finance off already!

I’m still single but I don’t mind, and I’m still in love with warren, but then again I still don’t mind.

To be honest, life is looking really good ūüôā x

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Really nice thoughts

I’m having nice thoughts before bed, the setting is alway the same, I’m smiling while kissing a dark facial haired man and he I smiling too.
I know it’s me that I’m thinking about because it’s the clothes I usually imagine myself in, and it’s the style of hair I usually imagine too.
Except this time there’s a white gold diamond ring on THE finger.

It’s a lovely thought too and it puts a smile on my face before I wander off into slumber.
And I start to think about my previous thoughts before bed time and what’s happened to them and I wonder if I’m doing the same thing, manifesting.
Manifesting happiness

It will be real, it’s too much of a strong thought not to be ūüôā
Love you
Goodnight xxx

The Essay for Uni

She emailed asking me to complete a piece of work to see if I was intelligent enough to go to their uni, they don’t want failures on there statistics, but if I get into that uni I will make sure I wont fail with the level of teaching they have.
A 500 piece essay on two questions.
I chose; Is Journalism important? Justify your answer.

I did two drafts, the first one enabled me to write it out but I was chewing over the structure and the format and if it answered the question, the word I was most dumb-fucked over was “justify”??

In the end I came out with this:

Journalism; informative, entertaining, persuasive and instructive, it is important to many aspects of living.

One justification of why journalism is important is the way it aids democratic societies understand politics. The Journalist‚Äôs job is to dilute the information into understandable pieces for the public to render their decision on. Journalism is described as the public serving ‚Äúwatchdog‚ÄĚ over powerful organisation, aiding political transparency to create a more ethical way to run a country, therefore democratic public can have a clear idea on what policies and agenda‚Äôs are included in which manifesto. Such as the new NHS reforms that may action, I‚Äôve heard many different opinions towards this, and it‚Äôs important to discuss and evaluate how it will affect things.
Local Journalism aids communities to become more self-sufficient, by the knowledge of important events, changes to area, and crime reporting. International Journalism is important because it not only gives us an international awareness but also cultural understanding, such as the Benizir Bhutto assassination, from this we learned about the hostile environment towards women’s rights and women in power.

This leads me to the justification of how it has helped social development, it holds extreme social importance, civil rights act, such as the equality act, African American civil rights movements, women’s rights, and homosexual rights, would still be an idea of a minority group if the disputes, protests and riots where not publicized. Publication through journalism helped these issues become spread so they could gain a stronger quantity to be law. It is important to protests and disputes, to gain the maximum effect needed for change by publication.
A service strike will not yield as much power if no one knows about it. Journalism aids these important and socially advanced ideas to form a stronger community and individual importance.

Entertainment is also a justification of why journalism is important, we can see its importance today as it fuels debate television shows such as ‚ÄúThe Wright Stuff‚ÄĚ, ‚Äú8 out of Ten Cats‚ÄĚ, and ‚ÄúLoose Women‚ÄĚ. Individuals who digest the information delivered by journalism form an idea and opinion; therefore majority opinions create another structure to then be discussed. Sport journalism is a very important entertainment justification, I doubt without the football headlines, league football wouldn‚Äôt be the multi-million franchise it is nowadays.

History is also another justification of why journalism is important, it becomes documentation of past events, which therefore can be used to forecast and summarize future political or economic structure and outcomes. Documenting evolution and development in the world helps us to further evolve and develop. Without this documentation of history we would hold no proof and we may go round and round in decades using the same failed technique for something.

Journalism is the investigation, and the report, without it in a democratic country, individuals would hold power to vote but would be ignorant to what they were voting for and how it would affect them.

In the case of the reader, knowledge is power. ”

Think the ending is quite catchy, any whoo, lets hope they like it, and think I’m smart enough to go there, or it looks like kylie will be saying hello to me and i will have 22yr old female flat mate in hudds ūüôā



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Huddersfield Uni and De Montfort have both accepted me, DMU being that i have to write a 500 word essay to the question “Is Journalism Important? Justify your answer.”. I’ve whittled on how it benefits politics, economics and society as a medium, locally nationally and internationally. But I’m totally gonna stage my introduction better. I would love to go to De Montford Uni I can see it now, bombing down the motorway in my little shifter hot hatch I WILL be buying with May’s pay packet!
I’m really bothered about this job however, all I want is Woz or someone like him to cuddle me up, settle down and get a nice house and things, I’m starting not to want University but if i have a degree I can get miles better jobs in a sector that keep me entertained all my life. Something fast paced and communicative, which is definitely what career choices this course can offer.
I’m so bored at home as well, I have ZERO money, I haven’t left the house in more than 2 weeks, and I’ve forgotten how to apply make-up, god unemployment sucks major ass.

TWELVE MORE DAYS AND I START WORK, I’m counting down the days how sad am I? Seriously?
I am looking forward to the early mornings and walking down that street all professional and good-looking..
I need to be the model employee when it comes to this new job if I want to secure a transfer and also get disability student allowance I can carefully store away and save for nice things, like furniture and make up :P.

Hopefully switch my contract after 6 months to a weekend one so I can come back and do my shifts then piss off back to Uni once I’ve earned my cheddar.
Still get glazed in my hometown on a Friday night when work calls at 9am Saturday because I’m a rebel and vodka is the new Chanel no. 5.

Keep the money for cloth and food, so I don’t starve and become a stinking shithead student that looks like 3 years ago’s fashion and a bucket of KFC bones.

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Wardrobe Essentials

I am desperate for new clothes, currently because I’m waiting to start my new job on the 5th of March I am living in my Onesie and¬†Pyjamas. Thinking about clothes and what I needed really set me off with the category’s of clothes.

  1. Tops
  2. Bottoms
  3. Dresses
  4. Outer Wear

Then I realised there are sooooo many more categories than that when it comes to clothing, just think about the deviation of styles we have on jeans now considered to what we had when wrangler designed the casual jean.
So then I thought about the list of styles of clothing and collars and prints and colours and shapes and materials and everything (designer mind) and searched  my local shopping malls store list and picked out ten things I really really want/need.

Cowl Dressblack Skinnys

Stripy Dress

Printed Cami

Coloured Maxi

Crop Jacket

Bandeau bodycon


Turquise Cardi


These are just a few items I can think of that the big wage packet will be spent on! All that plus I’ll be needing beauty things, we’ve got to be smartly dressed at work so I can’t wear jeans or anything but I can wear leggings.


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Study and work.

I got a call today from the new job I have lined up saying they had full time for me, which is fabulous, however it had one down side and that was that I therefore would have to wait a further week to start it, instead of starting on the 27th of Feb I’ll be starting on the 5th of March.

I am basically living on no money, living on air and the good graces of my mother, during the time I have to wait to start working however I will be finishing all my University things off, such as finance which I’m gonna crack on with tonight and accomodation, which I’ll research and then apply for more nearer March time.

Gonna live in my onepiece Onesie and get all my washing done, so I have loads of cute outfits for when I start work.

ImageLike RiHanna here, chillin in her slim fit baby romper! (Note to self, must get on american apparel and get the slim fitting onesies)

As soon as I get a big wage packet I’m booking and passing my test! I will be driving before I’m 21, ya hear!!! Papping off to Uni and hopefully cutting a deal with my job so I can keep some hours.


What I meant to say to Warren Carpenter

So its 2:54 in the morning and as always before I fall asleep I gather up in my head all the things I could have said to Warren about breaking up after I stupidly went to his house without any placards.

Ya know you have all the scenario worked out in your head, what your gonna look like (beautiful) all the meaningful and relationship inspiring bollocks that is gonna emerge from your lips, and you see the guy and you basically with each word you say (which is um, ah, i don’t know) you MELT into the ground, slowly.

And then he tells you “I’m seeing someone now anyway”, ANYWAY? ANYWAY? like¬†that’s¬†a ANYWAY thing to say, I felt like¬†I¬†had been shot in the face with a bazooka!
And then I cried, like a pathetic  idiot.

So ANYWAY Woz, This is what i Meant to say.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry that what I went through, even though it had nothing to do with you, turned you into a coward. I’m sorry it made you scared and I understand you didnt wanna be apart of it, but you promised you’d be there for me and you weren’t, cheers.
I really had to do it on my own, but I never realised how hard it was until you left me to “get on with it”.
The reason I can’t get over you as fast as I would like to is because, even though you met me at the wrong time in my life, you were the perfect candidate to help me through what I had to experience, you were so different compared to the previous guy that hurt me into this affliction.
I don’t have any over powering bullies at home either, I’m safe to say martin has left, and he won’t be coming back.¬†I was so content in your company, you just felt like home.
I don’t blame you for doing what you did, because¬†I¬†probably scared you, nor do I blame myself because some women have gone totally worse over the same, what I do blame is the idiot that hurt me in the first place because I can’t really get over it, while¬†¬†knowing it royally fucked up our relationship.
I¬†know we weren’t together long but I was sunk on a promise that you weren’t going any where and therefore I felt safe, too safe i guess. But knowing that, you were different, you meant a lot.
I miss our play fights, our tiny sessions where I would get half cut and then fruity in the bedroom, I miss you pretending not to be drunk when your clearly steaming and nearly ready to cry, I miss taking the piss out of each other and you barking in your sleep.
I miss how tall you are because I’m a exactly a head shorter than you and therefore your beautiful to cuddle.

I miss you goddamit.

And I guess you will never know!

ANYWAYS good luck with that girl your seeing, I wish you all the best.

Love Nat


New Career… Stripping

My friend came to me with the idea the other day, and I was really surprised because she isn’t sexual at all, she’s attractive but she rarely gets¬†horny, I’m more of a bubbly character and have gone straight up to people, well men and started chatting.

I actually¬†googled how to become a stripper and found an article in the Guardian!! (conservative british newspaper) About a woman that has been made redundant at the age of 20, my age, has no career prospects and become a stripper for her mortgage payments, I’m in awe.

Apparently to be a stripper you need certain qualities

  1. Confident and Bubbly towards the opposite sex (Check )
  2. A workable look (check)
  3. A  toned body (check)
  4. The ability to dance (check)

This is my check list:

I will need¬†4″ or more heels, which I have, just gonna have to sort out the sexy from the¬†smutty, but¬†I¬†have heels that tall. Three stage outfits, I have a sequin bikini that¬†I¬†bought from Magaluf, that¬†I¬†look mint in, I need a babydoll chemise set and a Smutty dress, Sexy Lingerie, does that even need an explanation? Baby wipes because they don’t taste very nice and if a customer licks you then he’s gonna get a god aweful taste in his mouth. Hairspray and gel, so style wont drop out, somewhere to keep money, (knicker pouch perhaps?), fake persona, yeah I won’t tell you guys that because i wanna keep my identity a secret, although i will be blogging my outfits and such.
Mixed music CD of the most sexiest songs, I’m gonna have to take a trip to a friends for some R’n’B because she is the queen at it, Garter, to keep ¬£5ers in, Rubber Band to Roll up my money.


I actually wanna look totally different so I might invest in a dark wig, and some contact lenses to change my general aesthetics so if I do go for the local joint no one will recognise me
Cant wear Glitter or perfume because it gets on the clients clothes and then the girlfriends know about it, :-/ not a good idea. 

I will need my nails done, if I wanna be recognisable I need to not have my nails done uniqly because if i run into someone i know from the pub, then go into the pub and they see the stripper nails they are instantly going to know, so just casual french mani for now thank you, unfortunatley i dont have the money for a salon visit so stick-ons will have to do.
I’ll do my make up a darker shade than usuall too to add to the tanned/toned effect I will be doing with my body, its gonna cost me alot to start up.


For Clothes and Shoes for the stripper life

Right Lets Tott Up the Total for the audition

£07.50 Spray Tan
£29.99 Wax Roll On
£06.38 Body Mist

I need to learn a Dance routine in high heels, gonna do that tomorrow, get up early and sort myself out a mix CD, go down stairs with laptop and bust one out, keep you posted lovelies. 




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Plastic Fantastic

Me in another universe

Look at that nose! Bitch!


Do you know how many years I’ve hated my sodding¬†Roman/aquiline nose of mine?


8 years (since¬†I¬†was 12) of starting fights to hope that they’d get my right on the bridge, break it,¬†I’d¬†be rushed to hospital, get a nose job on the nhs because its bent backwards, and I’d end up with a little cute snub nose like t’old¬†Barbara¬†here.

Did you know?

That the snub nose is apparently the most attractive of all the noses, and even celebrities like Megan Fox, Cameron Diaz, Hilary Duff (no surprise) Gwen Stefini, Demi Moore, Lauren Conrad (ashamed!) and Rhianna (after Chris Brown, I mean did you see the width of it) have all had nose surgery.

These are my favourite faces, beautiful noses, I call this the duchess, snub nose, just cutely placed on the face, and not¬†disrupting¬†anything, eyebrows lead the top, the base¬†isn’t¬†massively round, I have a¬†Gwen¬†Stefani nose, with more of a deviated tip, here ive fucked about with her face on photoshop to show you the extent of my beast of a conk.

Normal Gwen, My nose Gwen

And heres one of me using liquify on photoshop, ireally didn’t know how to save it straight from¬†Photoshop¬†so¬†I¬†had to snap shot it instead :/


Someone buy me this please

Philosophy and Us

FLASHBACK: I’m laid in bed with my now ex, talking about¬†independence¬†and¬†loneliness, and I asked him the age old¬†philosophical¬†question¬†“If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound”?
Erm, no  I guess, he answers.

DING DING DING, (alarm bells go off in my head because I’ve just realised my boyfriend is an autistic¬†egocentric¬†narsassistic waste of my time) “what?” “well if no one hears it, its¬†insignificant”.

I change the stance on my philosophical debate, “OK¬†there’s a political rally in¬†Rotherham (my home town) and there’s the mayor saying¬†everyone is to¬†have¬†a curfew,¬†everyone’s¬†shouting and you have this great counter arguement but no one asks for your opinion, is you opinion insignificant like that tree?”
“Well I’m a human, I can write, a tree can’t, I’m the greater species”.
And from then¬†I’ve¬†just figured that even though he’s lovely towards other humans and compassionate towards me, he’s never gonna be on my¬†wavelength.

“OK, you are that tree, you cant write, you can’t move, all you do is leave and flower, you fall in the woods, are you heard now?”
Still no, ok its not that he is egocentric, he’s just so happy he was born human, (probably so he can go out with me, haha, joke).

This is how I explained it to him.
Are you independent?… Yes
Are you lonely?… Nat, I’m laid in bed with you.
So your this tree in this wood, and you fall, and your surrounded by other trees but nobody hears, and your still insignificant? Yes
Do you know how roots work, and forest root systems? No

They’re all connected, so if the middle tree, which will be the one that falls and no one hears because of the muffles from the surrounding trees, the oxygen from the top that the leaves soak up,¬†isn’t¬†going to direct through the tree to the roots, to the other trees.

He’s a jack of all trades, knows how to fix most things, even light fittings, so his reply was “so like solar panels, warm up a house, if one panel cuts out the others get over heated and stop and then its freezing in winter?”

Yes, kinda, but lets see it as, your elizabeth fritzel, No one except your dad and mum know you exist, you fall on a sharp knife, and you die, who cares right?

“my dad, who’s he gonna rape now?” Sick answer, thanks for that, but he’s getting it.

“well mr fritzel goes out after and kidnaps a girl whose identity is not hidden from the world, does anyone hear the tree-ish kidnapping?” yeah they do…

I look at his face, I can see the clocks ticking, and then EUREKA he gets it, well yeah someone would hear the tree fall because everyone is connected, so by one tree falling its like the domino effect of decay from one root source to another, so probably in about 20 years the forest has fallen down.

OH MY LORD ūüôā I think I’ve found the one

OH yesss, my ex boyfriend wasn’t so thick at all, too bad he’s an ex, well to be fair¬†I’m¬†getting over him but I know he still cares, so its time for me to do some rock climbing while casually think about our marriage so the law of attraction will act on my clear request for our rekindle.

Wish me luck people.